論與中國人相處的方法

　　Sitting halfway around the world in the lobby of an upscale hotel sipping tea, I felt my face turning beet red.坐在一家高檔酒店的大廳里喝著茶，我感覺到自己滿臉通紅。

　　Only moments before, I had been formally introduced to the person facing me by a longtime colleague who then left so we could become acquainted. 幾分鐘之前，同事剛剛把對面這位女士介紹給我認識，之后同事離開了，只留下還不太相熟的我倆。

　　However, from this newcomer's initial line of questioning, instead of being courted I felt like I was being grilled.隨后，這位剛認識不久的女士開始問了一連串的問題，讓我覺得我像是在接受審問。

　　My new Shanghainese contact -- looking very demure and innocent -- sat there cool and collected as she dove into a one-sided conversation, asking personal question after personal question: 眼前這位上海女士看起來非常端莊秀麗、單純無辜，她酷酷地坐在那里，問著一個接一個的私人問題，像是在進行一場單方面的談話。

　　"How old are you?" “你多大了？”

　　"What kind of salary does your job pay?" “你的工作能拿多少工資？”

　　"What does your husband do for a living?" “你丈夫是做什么的？”

　　"Do you enjoy hanging out in bars?" “你喜歡泡吧么？”

　　She even went so far as to bring up the subject of my weight, wanting to know, "Is it because of your work that you are a large woman?"她甚至還問到了關于我體重的問題，“你這么胖是因為工作的原因嗎？”

　　I mentally punched the woman in her thin stomach for that one. In real life, I rode out the inquisition with a fake smile pasted on my face while I delivered my answers as tersely as possible.聽到這個問題時，我在心里狠狠地揍了這位苗條的女士一拳�？杀砻嫔�，我卻面帶微笑、泰然自若地、盡可能簡潔地回答了這個問題。

　　It's not as if I hold any of this information near and dear to my heart (I am pretty much an open book), but I remember thinking the question/answer session seemed a bit premature given that we had just met.這并不是說我不愿告訴別人這些有關我個人的信息（實際上我是個相當坦白的人），我只是覺得作為剛剛認識的兩個人談論這些私人問題有些為時過早。

　　But then the queries subsided and the tables turned.談話的后半部分，我從回答問題的人變成了提出問題的人。

　　Not wanting to be so brazen, I started tentatively by asking if my inquisitive conversation partner was married with children.因為不想過于失禮，我只是嘗試問了對方有關家庭、孩子方面的問題。

　　She lit up, telling me all about her family and her job and her lack of time for after-work fun. She even told me she was too skinny because she was working so hard she hardly had time to eat.這位女士立刻興奮起來，滔滔不絕地跟我講起她的家庭、她的工作，以及她在工作之余如何沒有時間玩樂。她甚至還跟我說她這么瘦是因為工作太忙而幾乎沒有時間吃飯。

　　We ended the hour feeling close. Then, as I went about my day, I thought about that conversation. I realized that the way my new friend held court was simply the Chinese way for finding common ground.大概一個小時之后，我們結束了“親密的交談”。那天晚上我想到這段談話時，突然意識到我的這位新朋友拉近陌生人距離的這種方式在中國其實是很常見的。

　　That said, following are some other ways in which things are done in China that might be surprising to the uninitiated American business traveler:下面是其他一些讓外國人感到奇怪的、但中國人卻覺得很平常的事：

　　When standing up while conducting a one-on-one conversation, don't back away simply because your Chinese counterpart seems a little too close for your comfort.站著進行面對面談話時，不要因為對方（中國人）和你靠太近就往后退，這是不禮貌的。

　　If you are lining up to wait for, say, a train or a bus, don't be surprised if you are shoved or pushed -- and don't get into a confrontation because of this. 在火車站或汽車站排隊的時候，如果被人推到或擠到也不要大驚小怪，更不要因為這個和別人吵起來。

　　If you want to point to something, use an open hand instead of using your index finger. 如果你要指東西，要伸開整個手去指，而不要用食指。

　　Be on time (or a little early) for a meeting. In China, punctuality is a must. 開會或會面時要準時或是早到，在中國守時是必須的。

　　Finally, keep your hands to yourself, even if you are just trying to make a simple gesture to accompany what you have to say. In China, use your words instead of acting them out or you might be considered overly dramatic. 最后，即使你只是想在說話時做個簡單的手勢，也請不要這樣做。在中國，盡量用語言而不是手勢來表達自己，否則會被人覺得過于夸張。

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